I’m a single mother and my baby is now two years and two months old. When I was pregnant for eight months, a pregnancy test revealed that the fetus had congenital heart disease with tricuspid valve malformation. Experts in prenatal diagnosis say that there are too many uncertainties because they are still fetuses, and the severity and changes after birth cannot be confirmed, but the conclusion is: the baby needs to undergo surgery immediately after birth (one time to repair the heart costs about 60,000 or 70,000 yuan). This operation is not a one-time operation, patients have to undergo more than 3 operations in their lifetime, and each operation has more than 50% of the surgical risk. The doctor advised eugenics, which was undoubtedly a thunderbolt for me at the time. The huge damage caused by the child’s father’s escape from the responsibility has not passed, and my beloved baby in the stomach seemed to be unsustainable.

I want to ask why God is so unfair to me, as well to my innocent and cute little angel! I thought about giving up the baby, but there was a voice in my heart that told me not to do that! Later, there were more experts consulted and they said that there were also babies who had no problems after birth, but the probability was very small, maybe less than 1 in 10,000. At that time, it is undoubted that the CT and holographic images of the fetus are very clear: the heart valve has a problem. What should I do? In the past two months waiting for my child to be born, I ran through many large and small hospitals, the diagnosis results they gave were almost the same. There was no miracle and no misjudgment. Whenever the ultrasound is taken, the staff will say something like “can’t have this baby” or “less chance”. I wash my face with tears every day, thinking day and night holding my stomach, doing various ideological struggles every day, I don’t want to believe it but there are authoritative statements that I have to accept in front of my eyes. The worst result I can think of is: the baby must face death right after birth! But no one should stop the chance for me meeting with the angel. I think, even if there is only one in 10,000 hopes, even if you meet, there is only a slight chance of improvement, and I will accompany my angel to persevere. Thus, I thought of asking for help outward. I consulted and asked for help from a charity friend. He gave me some resources without saying a single word and introduced me to Mr. Jment Lim’s Love Life team in Malaysia. On the same day, we added each other in WeChat. Mr. Jment Lim established a WeChat group to help me and my baby in the night itself. The group joined by their female staff and the dean of a children’s home, Pertubuhan Kebajikan Da Zhi Jiang Tang, Malaysia home. Everyone talked about my dilemma and ideas, about the problems I should face, comforted and enlightened me, and shared about the children’s experience in the Pertubuhan Kebajikan Da Zhi Jiang Tang. Not only that, but they also helped me solve the worries of my baby’s medical expenses after birth, giving me unprecedented strength, making me feel not only fighting with my baby, I am more and more fearless! Mr. Jment Lim’s team has given me and my baby endless strength to boost our economic support, and we have seen great hope! After that, I played the prenatal education music for the baby according to the teachings of the teachers. Every day, I talked with the baby in my heart, “I love you baby, let’s cheer!”

In anticipation of everyone, the due date is gradually approaching. The sign of delivery appeared five days in advance. I lived in an eight-story staircase community and the hospital is just downstairs. I remember having a pain when I went downstairs, resting on the handrail of the stairs. I glanced subconsciously. The strange neighbor peeked behind the half-covered door, and then closed the door coldly. I stumbled to the hospital. My obstetrician told me that the condition of the fetus was dangerous. I needed to sign an informed letter and contacted the superior hospital in advance to inform me that I was in labor. The pain lasted for three days and two nights, I practiced the breathing method of childbirth, and meditation in my mind over and over again, “南无药师琉璃光如来圣号”, “南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨名号” Come on baby! When the neighbor Aunt Liew sent a parturient downstairs, she came to bed visit me and told me to walk around and eat something. At five o’clock in the afternoon I was pushed into the delivery room. Cervix had already opened to three fingers. Aunt Liew was about to leave work. She smiled at me. I said to her, “Auntie, come and visit me after dinner. I’ll wait for you!” She agreed. At this time having someone beside me, even if it is a little strength, is a great support! Suddenly, thinking about it and going further, almost soon … The nurse pushed me into the labor room until nine o’clock in the evening, and the cervix opened to six fingers. The midwife helped me and said that I must push the fetus harder until it (Baby) is out, fearing that the fetal heart problem will be dangerous if it delays time. At this time, Aunt Liew has come back to see me, while chatting with me to relieve fatigue and divert attention, while feeding me to restore energy and vitality. The pain was getting stronger and stronger, and I said, Auntie, I can’t take the pain, I want to take the painless injection. I said this twice, and she said to endure forbearance, and forbearance is over. It has reached eight fingers, and it succeeded immediately. I have been meditating on my baby, let’s cheer, cheer! Everything will pass, and we will be fine! When it opened to ten fingers, Aunt Liew told me: The ambulance going to the larger hospital is already waiting downstairs for the baby to come out to the world. So I let go of my suspended heart, and cooperate with three midwives for about ten minutes, at about 11:00 am on October 26, 2017, my angel was born! My tears blew out like a dike! I really held these tears back for too long! With tears in my eyes, I told Aunt Liew that I sacrificed a lot for my baby … I saw the baby being taken away from a distance, the midwife did not have time to confirm with me the baby’s gender and face. The ambulance staff performed a full body test on him. My aunt took two photos for me and the baby was taken away … The miracle still seems to have not appeared. The baby’s face turned purple and his breathing was short.

On the first day after childbirth, my fellow aunt sent me a big bowl of pork knuckle soup to comfort me. Aunt Liew came to visit me from time to time and bring me meals. Although there was no family member around me, I felt like the team of Aunt Liew and Mr. Jment Lim gave me a lot of happiness. Three days later, I was discharged from the hospital. Every day after I returned home, I talked to the doctor in the intensive care unit to understand more about the baby. About ten days or so, the doctor said that he could visit the baby, and he would talk about the next medical plan. When I arrived at the Provincial Hospital Monitoring Room, I did a full set of disinfection and protection. I went into the guardian’s room to see my baby. My dear baby is a lot thinner than the far-eyed look in my delivery room ten days ago, and his face is pale and haggard … I asked in my heart: Is this my baby? I carefully confirmed that the information on the bed sign was my baby. He fell asleep, with a needle in his nostril and head, and across the cover of the baby bed, I said, “My baby here is mommy, mommy came to see you,” and he cried aloud. … the doctor helped me out of the intensive care unit. He was a young doctor. He told me that the baby’s milk intake was normal and gradually increased. What medicines were injected every day, including for the shortness of breath, etc? After a comprehensive examination, the diagnosis can now be confirmed as: “Tricuspid malformation, pulmonary valve atresia, patent ductus arteriosus, oval foramen, tricuspid regurgitation (severe),” tachycardia attack occurred during the examination. The young doctor told me that such a situation is the worst, and it is impossible to assess the chance of a successful operation. In the following days, after several expert consultations, it is recommended that the baby needs to arrange surgery as soon as possible. In addition to the operation that is performed immediately, the operation needs to be performed at least two more times in life, and each operation should be based on the situation after the last operation. At the age of 18 or middle age, you may also have a heart replacement surgery … and the operation cost is unimaginably high (one time more than 100,000 yuan), the diagnosis and operation plan of the thunderbolt on a sunny day, the doctor explains patiently, He also asked if I understand the severity of the condition. In fact, in the half-hour conversation, I have been enduring the pain of the postpartum wound, half sitting in the chair and moving around looking for a less painful posture, listening to professional terminology, the whole person is in a trance or even blank, I just ask if will God give my angels a lifeline? What other turning point does this situation have? At this time, I suddenly remembered some of my medical opinions when the young doctor comforted me that day. He said that in his opinion this baby had no special danger signs since he was admitted to the hospital. He can look at the changes and decide not to operate on his hands. This sentence seems to be the only life-saving straw I can hold tightly because I don’t have enough money to operate the baby, and I don’t have enough courage to put all of my trust with the doctor.

I informed the doctor of my thoughts. The doctor said: If you go home without surgery, you need to notify the drug withdrawal in advance for two days to observe.

The first visit was over in the evening, and I remember it was drizzling that day, and the sky was gray like my mood. It was November in the south, and there was already a slight coolness, and my mind couldn’t be as calm as the weather on the way home. I kept thinking about what to do about this problem? At that time, I was struggling every day with tears on my face unconsciously, and the face was always swollen. I often took out my mobile phone and looked at the two pictures of the baby when I was born. My brain was blank. Decide what to do? An idea slowly emerged …

Experts say that this operation will be full of danger. Instead of spending money on the cold operating table, we might as well fight in love and warm life! Give it try!

I notified the hospital to stop the drug observation two days in advance. On the twentieth day after the baby was born, I went to the provincial hospital to pick up the quilts prepared before delivery and prepared to discharge the baby. When I saw the young doctor, I told him that I decided not to perform the operation and took the baby home for observation, and thanked him for his care. He said that in case of shortness of breath and purple face, he should be sent to the hospital immediately, take care of the baby carefully, and pay close attention to these situations at any time.

After completing the discharge procedures, the head nurse wrapped the baby and delivered it to my hands. Before leaving, I consulted some nursing issues. She remembered clearly that she said that the baby’s cold resistance is stronger than ours, so we don’t have to wear too thick. When I saw the baby for the second time, that kind of feeling was actually a bit strange, and there were endless emotions that could not be said. But I didn’t have time to think about anything else. The moment I left the elevator in the infant intensive care unit to open the door, I had a feeling of suffering and rebirth.

Backed home, I practiced the nursing knowledge I learned in the video before birth. Feeding him for the first time, the situation of changing diapers for the first time is already very vague, but the baby has been courageously going through each of his first times with me! In the days when I just came back, the baby spent a long time sleeping every day. I will play “南无阿弥陀佛圣号” on the bed. Over time, I am used to meditating in my heart. I watched my baby grow up every day, clothes gradually became smaller, and I spent day after day feeding milk, showering and changing diapers. I laughed when I slept and changed my appearance. The situation that the young doctor said did not happen, looked at him carefully in my arms, photographed him, and my heart was infinitely sweet. Every day I will stick to the heart of the baby and say, “Mommy loves you” “Son, you need to grow up healthy”, kiss him softly, tell him “love”, pass “love” to him, and let him be surrounded in such an atmosphere of love. The baby is out there for everyone to see and love. I am very happy. Everyone passes the energy of “love” to the baby. At eight months, the baby was calling her mother on a date, and when he called her out loud, she was very pleasant and satisfied. He will be coquettish, will request for a hug, will drink water by himself, will eat by himself, and find his mother. During this period, I will go to the community health center every three or four months to measure the height and weight as well as listen to the heart murmur (the heart will have a murmur due to illness). Miracles have happened again and again, and luck has come again and again. Every time the doctor listens to the heart, he will say that the murmur has become smaller. What a miracle of life! From pregnancy to the present of daily dependence, you will find that gestating life is really wonderful and beautiful!

Someone asked me whether it hurts these days? Pain! It is inevitable, which mother did not come over from Gate of Hell! Pubic bone pain during pregnancy, three-day and two-night pain before delivery, severe pain during torn labor, postpartum wound pain, early breastfeeding pain, late breastfeeding pain, reverse day and night feeding I don’t even know how to carry him … the pain caused by a series of problems, the colored vision of single mothers, the colored vision of fetal heart problems … Nativity) All pain is worth it! I am grateful that my baby has chosen me, and I’m grateful to Mr. Jment’s caring life team for his support, encouragement, and donation! Thank you for your care! Thank you that young doctor! Is them who gave me the courage and confidence to become the present me.

I’m very happy! I think so. From the birth of the baby to the present, there are good and bad. I have chosen to forgive and forget the bad; when I am good, I will always remember and be grateful and let the smile bloom on my face.

If you are also faced with the choice of life, I can only tell you with the voice of the people who came over: “Start from the heart” and “Do your best to obey your destiny”. Tell yourself to let go, accept, understand, and change. There will be many mothers in the same situation as I was in this world. I sincerely wish them all health and happiness!

From the beginning of childbirth, you will always meet children with similar conditions in their hearts. Their parents or relatives tell me that the results are good. I think this is the “Miracle of Life”!