When I chose to have this child, I knew that my future life will be full of hardships. However, even so, I’m not willing to bear the guilt of abandoning him, and my life will not be peaceful.
Maybe it was God who took pity on me and sent me a particularly sensible child. He made me feel that the hardship of life is totally worthless compared to his smiley face. The happiness and warmth he brought me was the best gift for me to choose him.
My child is very pitiful and abandoned by his father before he was born, he was only 3 months old at that time. His 23-years-old young mother faced a difficult choice. Almost no one expected his arrival, except his mother. Everyone persuaded her that you are still young and will have a bright future. How can you form a family with dragging a child? How did you spend the rest of your life? Now that medical technology is so advance and developed, it won’t be hurt to have an operation…
Why doesn’t it hurt? The pain in the heart is more unbearable than the pain in the body. With this child, I don’t know how difficult the future will be; but when I think about the fact that I will lose my flesh for this, I feel suffocated and cold all over.
I once went to a lottery in a temple and wanted to use the inspiration of the gods and Buddhas to make the decision. But it’s totally useless. I know it must be decided by myself. I know that my heart is reluctant. If you can’t bear it, why should you throw it away? What I worry about is nothing but the difficulties of life in the future, not emotional regrets. I don’t want to leave any regrets in my life. My child is already pitiful without a father, and he can no longer be abandoned by his mother.
Hesitant, melancholic, struggling, when he was 5 months old, I finally made up my mind: no matter what outsiders say, I want him. At that moment, my heart was full of pride and courage.
My family didn’t understand very much and gradually alienated me. I moved out of my original home and rented out, preparing for the birth of the child. Fortunately, by doing some part-time jobs that are not too hard, I can support myself temporarily and save some saving for after birth. Several friends sympathized with me and gave me financial support. I wrote it down one by one in the notebook, thinking that I would returned all in the future.
My child is very good, and is not troublesome during pregnancy, maybe he also knows how difficult his mother is. When he was born safely, I looked at his crumpled red smiley face, and tears could not stop falling. I think, in this world, I finally have my own blood.
The following days are of course very difficult. In order to live, I have tried everything and worked hard. But I don’t complain at all, but I am very grateful for these jobs for giving me a salary, so that I can feed my children upright. Every time I went home, I was obviously exhausted, but when I saw the child’s soft and soft face, the voice called “Mom”, I’m very happy, very happy, and recovered my strength.
He was really sensible, not naughty and always looked at me with a smile. Other children still need their parents to feed and dress them up when they are 2 years old. My child already knows how to get things for me when he is 2 years old; other children still need their parents to hug them when they are 4 years old. My child is 4 years old and wants to help me clean hygiene; other children need to be picked up by family members when they are 6 years old. My children always go to school and do their homework every day. Sometimes, I am thinking that this child must be sent by God to repay grace, and it is the most precious gift that God sent me.
I’m really thankful that I didn’t give up on him when it was so difficult, otherwise I don’t know how much I regret and how guilty. Because there are many examples around me, they have made the best choice, but they can’t get rid of that guilty. They often envy me for having such a good child, but once I make a mistake, I can’t make up for it anymore.
In life, there must be some difficulties, but you can go through it, but once you regret emotionally, you can’t pass it for life.
Article from — 湖北财经网